What happend?

I have no choice in my life but to grife and regret and watching others lives .every day   i ask my self what was I born for? Is this the whole life that i could exprience or there is some hope to meet new advantures.im bored and tired to be honest im devastaded depressed i know some part of this  life is my faults but i cant understand why and i dont know how to deal with that.God or holy beings in my life are well aware of me and my situation but still there is sth that is missed and thats the destiny is it my faith to be like this why iv been trying hard i went through difficultues during all these years and now i am an alone girl who have no one to be trusted no one to be understood and no one for help .im in need of hope happiness and a calm and  protect place so that no body can disturbe me no body can judge me .i wish i could go out of this place but like a dead person i cant do any thing and thats the all grife.may god help me or listen to me.ammen